What happens when chemists have nothing better to do on a Wednesday afternoon?

• This. It started with me posting a link on Facebook to an awesome recent paper describing physicists' efforts to reweigh the electron to an accuracy of one part in a trillion. The great Aaron Finke - of the regretfully dead Carbon-Based Curiosities - then weighed in.

   

  Aaron Finke This is what happens when physicists are bored.
  
  "So... uh... whatcha up to?"
  "Nothin, just Facebooking and eating a Hot Pocket"
  "...cool, cool. Wanna... wanna reweigh the electron?"
  "Yes. Yes I do."

  
  
• 

  Ashutosh Jogalekar Computational chemist version:
  
  "So…uh, whatcha up to?
  "Nothin, just twittering and eating a Hungry Man chicken meal."
  "…Cool…Hey, wanna parametrize that aziridine N-C bond with some stretch-bend cross-terms?
  "You bet!"

  
  
• 

  Ashutosh Jogalekar Synthetic chemist version:
  
  "So…uh, whatcha up to?
  "Nothin, just textin and eating an Amy's frozen teriyaki bowl." (clearly the synthetic chemist is more evolved)
  "…Cool…Hey, wanna repeat Woodward's B12 synthesis, but this time using RCM in some of the steps?"
  "Oh God yes!"

  
  
• 

  Aaron Finke Geologists:
  
  "So, uh, whatcha up to?"
  "Not much, just youtubing and eating taco bell"
  "Cool, cool. Hey, wanna get shitfaced?"
  "I already am"
  "Oh ok"

  
  
• 

  Ashutosh Jogalekar Clearly there's a fine line between being bored and being shitfaced.

  
  
• 

  Aaron Finke that's the nice thing about being a geologist
  
  you never have to be in a hurry

  
  
• 

  Ashutosh Jogalekar At least until the continents start coming together again. Then things get truly shitfaced in a hurry.

  
  
• 

  Aaron Finke "So, uh, whatcha up to?"
  "Nothin, just waiting for the continents to collide together again"
  "Cool, cool... how long will that take?"
  "Probably a couple hundred million years."
  "Cool, cool... wanna get shitfaced?"
  "I already am"
  "Okay"

  
  
• 

  Aaron Finke "Well, have fun. I'm gonna go help weigh that electron with the physicists"

  
  
• 

  Ashutosh Jogalekar *Geologist returns after helping physicists reweigh the electron, computational chemists parametrize every single molecule that can be built from 12 heavy atoms and synthetic chemists make vitamin B12 from a simple, four-carbon compound isolated from bat feces*
  
  "So, uh, whatcha up to?"
  "Nothin, just waiting for the continents to collide together again"
  "Cool, cool... how long will that take?"
  "Probably a couple hundred million years."
  "Cool, cool... wanna get shitfaced?"
  "I already am"
  "Okay"

  
  
• 

  Aaron Finke Why am I not a geologist

  
  
• 

  Ashutosh Jogalekar Because you would rather spend your time much more productively on the 67th synthesis of aquabatguanine using hammer and tong chemistry?

  
  
• 

  Aaron Finke what am I, Chinese?

  
  
• 

  Ashutosh Jogalekar Of course not. The Chinese made aquabatguanosine.

  
  
• 

  Aaron Finke ...again.
  
  well this might be the dumbest conversation on your FB wall ever. You're welcome.

  
  
• 

  Ashutosh Jogalekar Eminently postworthy (with your permission, naturally: I am planning to name it "When chemists have nothing to do on a Wednesday afternoon"). May even help to resurrect the dead CBC.

  
  
• 

  Aaron Finke do it